I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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