Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
then he tried to convert me to islam
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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