I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
