We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
