Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
