They should really pass out barf bags in church
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
