There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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