we have pet lesbian snakes
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
