I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
