I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
