My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
