How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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