1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
