dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
