so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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