C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
