There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Found your dick twin last night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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