kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
