i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
