nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
