Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
tell me about the eggs
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
