Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
