Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
