dude i'm inner monologue high
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
