The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
