Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
