it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
