And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
