Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
