Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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