porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
