Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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