It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
