had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
