I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
