love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
