Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Randomize
