fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
God I need to hump something, right now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
