If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
