your room smells of hookers.
And success
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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