Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
