The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
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