Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
