I'm going to jail i love you
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i love accidental penises.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
