he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
