addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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