The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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