Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
