dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
