accomplished twins. life is a go
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
