Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
