Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
