Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
