All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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