and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
